by Jennifer Baltz

This is the second part in a two part series. Haven't read part one yet? Check it out here before reading part two.

Finding Your Soulmate

We all have soulmates and soul-friends--people who we have known before in other lives, who cross our paths. Sometimes they join us for a lifetime; other times, they are here only for a brief time, to help us on our journeys.

So how can you bring your soulmates into your life? There's a lot of relationship advice out there that tries to tell you how. But many people discover that all they have to do is ask. Whether you believe in a conscious God, or a synchronous universe, putting your conscious intention out there is a great way to start making subtle changes to the fabric of the universe.

Love in a Letter!

One man asked God to help him find his life partner while he was stationed in Vietnam--an unlikely place to find true love! Brian asked every girlfriend he'd ever had (five of them) to write to him while he was away. "I was the envy of the company; five young ladies writing to me!" he says. But one night, Brian was assigned to staff the main office. His duties included sorting and picking up the mail. He came across a letter addressed to "any U.S. Serviceman." He decided it was meant for him and opened the letter.

The letter was from a female missionary, writing to tell soldiers of Jesus' love for them. The thought flashed through his mind: this might be the girl God had in mind for him. So, he asked the Supreme Being to give him a sign: if all five of his female pen pals stopped writing to him, this girl was the one. "Within a week, I had received three Dear John letters, and I never heard from the other two again!" he says with a laugh. "The next letter back to the States, I wrote and asked my new pen pal to marry me!"

Several months later, Brian was discharged, spent a day with his family in the Midwest, then drove to Texas to meet his fiancee for the first time. "We were married that June and have been together now for over twenty six years!" His simple request, and the faith and courage to see it through, created a powerful chain of events that led him to his true love.

Supporting Your Goal

But what if you've been asking the Universe for your true love, but to no avail? No matter what you do, your soulmate just doesn't appear. Or the wrong guy or gal keeps coming into the picture time and time again?

In this story, Brian was ready and waiting to take action: that drive to Texas was a tremendous leap of faith. Had he arrived and discovered the girl just wasn't for him, I'll bet you anything he would have found the right one soon after. Why? Because Brian was willing to do whatever it took to make his dream real. It takes energy, some hard work, and a bit of faith to make your dreams come true. If you sit around waiting for love to come to you, you aren't giving your goal much support.

Being ready to receive love is also very important. If you are not ready, you won't allow it into your life. In Finding True Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life, Bay Area therapist Daphne Rose Kingma notes that timing is very important. She suggests asking yourself if there is something else you need to do first before you fall in love, and then give yourself the space and time to do it. Being honest with yourself is important in finding true love, and in making your other life dreams come true as well.

Notice also that in this story and the others in Part One, soulmates appeared in a serendipitous way--seemingly without effort. There is a big difference between making yourself available for love and acting on it, and trying too hard to seek it out -- or force it to work with someone who is just not for you. Brian made a bit of a game of his quest for a mail order bride. He had fun with it! He didn't put out a lot of effort to materialize a future wife--he was in the middle of a war zone trying to stay alive. But, he did drive across America to go get her once he got home.

Remember that a soulmate connection takes care and attention, but it doesn't take a lot of draining effort--you don't need to try too hard to create something that is already there. All you need to do is recognize it, value it, and act on what you see.

Four Steps to A Soulmate Relationship

1. First, decide that you really want a soulmate bond. These relationships can be very intense. Like any long term relationship, they require honest communication with yourself and your partner, and a willingness to let each other grow as individuals. Trying to hold onto that other person, and keep him or her from changing, does NOT work in a healthy soulmate relationship. The essence of a soulmate partnership is growth and spiritual evolution: it is work!

2. Open the doorway. Ask the universe and God to bring a soulmate connection into your life. Remember Jesus' words: Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall be opened to you.

3. Give yourself permission to receive love. It sounds like a simple thing, but many of us have to take down a wall or two and allow love to come in. If it doesn't happen right away, you may have additional life lessons or growth experiences that need to happen before you are ready to create that relationship.

4. When you find a strong connection with someone, don't cling. Give that person the freedom to make his or her own choices, to be an individual. Clingy love can suffocate even the most promising relationships because it demands that the other person be different than who they really are. Give your loved one space to be an individual as well as part of a couple.

copyright 1999 by Jennifer Baltz. All rights reserved.

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